Who is Tom?
Tom Bailey is the founder of Succeed Through Speaking and he spent the first 25 years of his life becoming an expert at AVOIDING public speaking, presenting and being in front of groups of people. However since overcoming his life-limiting fear of speaking and presenting he has experienced first-hand how people can succeed through speaking. He now helps other Entrepreneurs, Experts, Coaches and Consultants use speaking to raise their profile and gain new clients.
Key Takeaways
1. start getting yourself out there, whether it's doing a quick podcast episode or speaking on somebody else's show. It's a great way to just start gently getting yourself out there and getting used to speaking about yourself and your business.
2. clients typically hide behind their business. So what I mean by that is they're posting stuff on social media, but it's normally quotes of other people. Or they're putting faceless, inauthentic content out there. They're not putting their true self out there, which really prevents them from building a following from getting that know, like, and trust factor for their business. And it really, really does hold them back.
3. it's all about turning fears on their head, and thinking about how you can look at them as opportunities rather than as things that could go wrong.
Valuable Free Resource or Action
Tom has a free monthly live demo and people can register for it here - https://www.succeedthroughspeaking.com/live-demo-registration
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Transcript
Note, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)
Stuart Webb 0:41
Hi again, everyone, welcome back to it's not rocket science five questions over coffee, I would say coffee, but I have water in front of me because it's kind of warm today. And therefore Yeah, what until. And it's pretty important during hot weather to keep yourself hydrated. I'm sure Tom will get into some of that as he's talking today. So, with me today, I've got Tom, Tom Bailey is the founder of succeed through speaking, he spent the first 25 years of his life becoming an expert at avoiding public speaking. And will can probably sort of understand a little bit about that if we told him that was really prevented him from sort of getting in front of groups of people. But he's now conquered that and he's really understood how getting your voice heard as a an entrepreneur, business owner, consultant is so important. And he now runs courses in order to help people to understand how to get themselves out there and speaking. So, Tom, welcome to it's not rocket science, five questions over coffee. Great intro. Thank you so much for having me here today. No problem at all. So let's start off by sort of talking about what's the biggest challenge that your ideal client faces,
Tom Bailey 1:58
of course, so I'll begin by describing my ideal clients, so they're typically experts, entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants, and they're normally solopreneur. So on their own trying to launch or grow a business. And the typical challenge that they face is that they're the world's best kept secret. And the reason why I say that is because the typically amazing at what they do, they can bring some amazing value. But they've got fears around actually talking about their business or launching their business or going onto podcasts or speaking and a lot of my clients is because of anxieties or a fear of public speaking.
Stuart Webb 2:33
You know, I read a statistic that, that fear of public speaking is is one of the greatest fears. And it reminded me that actually, when it comes to a funeral, the person giving the eulogy would probably be probably prefer to be the person that's in the box, having the eulogy given about them. So, you know, that's one of your great fears, isn't it that you know, we worry so much about that? And yeah, it's so little, it's a such a such something so easy to overcome. So So what are the common mistakes that people make, when they're trying to solve a problem without getting the sort of help that you you bring to them?
Tom Bailey 3:08
Of course, I will just quickly go into my story a little bit, because you meant that might bring it to light a little bit. And I was, I was my first client. And, you know, I had that fear of public speaking. And like you'd said, spent the first 2530 years of my life with that fear really holding me back. And it was actually the moment that I decided something needed to be done about this was I was asked to speak at my Nan's funeral, and I couldn't do it, you know, I just thought 50 people in the room, I've never spoke in front of two people are can't do it. And that was kind of a kick up the bum to say, you know, you need to sort this out. You can't say no to so many things. And, and that helped with business. Then once I started saying, Yes, I started doing podcasts, I started speaking on stages, eventually, after about five or six years. And it changed everything. So just, yeah, thank you. So it's helped a lot. I just do a question there, which is around common mistakes that people have when trying to solve this problem, I find that my clients typically hide behind their business. So what I mean by that is they're posting stuff on social media, but it's normally quotes of other people. Or they're, you know, just putting faceless, inauthentic content out there. They're not putting their true self out there, which really prevents them from building a following from getting that know, like, and trust factor for their business. And it really, really does hold them back.
Stuart Webb 4:32
Yeah, yeah, you're right. inauthenticity is such a major problem, isn't it? So let's, let's talk about the ways in which you help them what's that valuable free action or valuable free resource which you bring that you can leave with the audience today?
Tom Bailey 4:47
Yes, I say free action is to take a look at what we're doing right now. So, you know, you're you're the host of your own podcast, which is helping you build your profile and I'm here, I've been invited as a expert to speak on your podcast. So again, it's helping me raise my profile. So I guess the action to take is to start getting yourself out there, whether it's, you know, doing a quick podcast episode or speaking on somebody else's show. It's a great way to just start gently getting yourself out there and getting used to speaking about yourself and your business.
Stuart Webb 5:21
And free resources you could leave us with.
Tom Bailey 5:24
Yeah, exactly. So one thing that I do is every month I'll deliver my masterclass. So it's every, the first Thursday of every month at 4pm. UK time. And it's the topic of how to become a fairly speaker and get your message to market with confidence and clarity, so that you can raise your profile or gain new clients, because everything we're talking about today is how to do it. And the best place to get that is to go to either my website succeed through speaking Comm. Or there's a URL on screen now, which is succeed through speaking.com, forward slash live demo, registration with hyphens in between the live and the demo. And you know, if you're interested in raising your profile, getting yourself out there attracting new clients, this will be a great starting point for you.
Stuart Webb 6:07
Yeah, brilliant, brilliant, Tom. And I must admit, I think you're you're right in Take, take that first step, don't you? I mean, you know, so often we worry about taking that first step, because we're afraid we'll fail or fall and, and it will become a horrendous experience. Because so often people around you were willing, doing their level best to try and help you. And if you look at it in that way, so often, that first step is so much less painful than you expect it to be.
Tom Bailey 6:35
Exactly. I think it's like any skill. So if you're learning to swim, you wouldn't jump in the deep end or go in the ocean to go for a swimming lesson. You know, you put you put your armbands on, you'd get in the shallow end, and you just start to get used to the water. And that's what I always recommend for my clients to do is not to think about a keynote speech as your first gig. But, you know, how do you get to speak in front of one or two people and just start getting used to it?
Stuart Webb 6:57
Brilliant, lovely, lovely, yes. Let's put those let's put those speaking armbands on and stop waiting about the shallow end. Exactly. That's a great way of putting it. So once the concept of book it's been most impactful in your experience,
Tom Bailey 7:12
yes, I've got it here. Actually, for me, it's this book by Daniel Priestley. It's called the key person of influence. And he wrote back in 2014. So you know, what are we about six or seven years in now. And he talks about how to fast track your influence in your industry, and how to build a reputation. And there's five ways that he talked about doing that. And that's pitching, publishing content, creating products, your profile and partnerships. And one thing that I've realised recently is that four of those all about speaking, presenting and talking to real people. And that's why I think it's just so important to actually get yourself out there and start speaking, presenting, pitching, building partnerships, and really getting yourself out there.
Stuart Webb 7:57
Yeah, you're absolutely right communication. I often say this to my clients, when it comes to things like that. I say, they, and I don't know what your your thinking is on this, Tom. But I often say, Look, when you're communicating, you have to remember communicating is what the person that is receiving the message does, it's not about what you think you've done. So if you've not done it in an authentic way, if you've done it in such a way that somehow they haven't understood it, you haven't communicated everything, you've got to get the message across. And sometimes that means changing the way in which you communicate, to get them to understand what you're saying. And I think that's one of the messages that's in that book, to a large extent, it's about, it's about how you get action from somebody rather than just sort of throwing it out there and hoping.
Tom Bailey 8:41
Yeah, absolutely. And that's one that's really important for me and my clients as well is that we need to focus on the message that's landing with the other person or the value that's being given to the person because when we were in our own heads focusing on what do I look like, what do I sound like? Am I embarrassing myself? You know, once we're in our own head, it starts to prevent us from actually doing it in the first place. So it's really important to focus on what the message is that lands with
Stuart Webb 9:03
brilliant love it love it, Tom, really, really appreciate it. So here's my you know, I've asked you my questions. Now, here's my get out of jail free card, which is, what's the question I should have asked you. And if you wouldn't mind also, not only giving that question, but giving us an answer as well, which sort of puts the pressure right back on you, which is the way I like it.
Tom Bailey 9:23
Yes, perfect. So I think for me, because of the topic, one of the biggest things that comes up with me a lot when I'm working with my clients is what do I do if I've got a fear of public speaking or limiting beliefs, you know, that that's a big one because I say, go out there and speak with and they say, Well, I can't speak because I've got a fear of speaking and, and that's so powerful. This fear of speaking it's and it really comes up is what if questions in our head? So what if I make a mistake? What if I forget my lines? What if the technology fails on me? What if I embarrass myself and and it's really powerful and it holds you in your tracks? So a lot of the answers These questions are typically irrational, they're not realistic. And, you know, you think the grounds gonna swallow you up if you embarrass yourself in front of a big audience, but in reality, it's, it's not going to happen there for you to breathe and realise you've made a mistake. So, what I do to start asking the questions, which is, you know, what, if you do forget lucky lines, you know, what could you do about it? What else could you do? How could you have prepared more to prevent that from happening? Or what could you do? If it does happen? How could you rectify the situation? So, for me, it's all about turning fears on their head, and thinking about how you can look at them as opportunities rather than as things that could go wrong.
Stuart Webb 10:41
Yeah, take it from somebody who has stood on a stage and completely gotten what they were going to say, never actually managed to get through that and survive, that the consequences are not nearly as desert dire as you actually imagined them to be a nightmare of a situation where you're standing there and thinking, I've forgotten what day of the week it is, let alone where I'm currently supposed to go next with this talk. So it's never quite as bad as you think Can you can survive, it can't be Tom.
Tom Bailey 11:08
And the opportunities outweigh the potential risks. Absolutely.
Stuart Webb 11:12
Great message. Love it. Love it. Listen, I thank you so much for being on today. Tom, really appreciate it. I think it's a brilliant message. If you if you haven't already gone on to that link, and register to get on and see Tom in action, then then I encourage you to do that. And talking about other things that you should go and do. We do these on a regular basis. And if you want to get notified in advance of when we get our people like Tom come on and talk about some really important topics, go to to https colon, forward slash forward slash TTA dot FYI, forward slash subscribe, get on the newsletter mailing list that way, every time we do one of these, send out a mailing, and you will know that you can come in and see people like Tom live and if necessary, even ask him questions. Tom, I really appreciate you being on we haven't actually had any questions, but that's not the important thing. The important thing is that people now know where to go to get help from people like you to help them with their public speaking. I really appreciate your time today. Fantastic. Thank you so much for having me today. No problem at all. Thank you very much Tom speech very soon.
Five Questions Over Coffee with Tom Bailey (Ep. 26)