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It's Not Rocket Science! Five Questions Over Coffee
Five Questions Over Coffee with Mike Lawrence (ep. 65)
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Five Questions Over Coffee with Mike Lawrence (ep. 65)

Who is Mike?

Mike attained his DMS PGDip at London Metropolitan. He represented the university at the 4th International Conference on Depression, Anxiety, and Stress Management in Germany where he received an award for his workshop entitled ‘How to alleviate stress: the importance for organisations to implement a more holistic view of the employee to alleviate stress’ (presented in collaboration with Robert M Gordon, American Psychological Association, USA and Paolo Scapellato, European University of Rome, Italy). Whilst there he also collected a number of coaching awards; one of which, as a Football Association referee.

He has worked with businesses such as Computer Sense, the Public Carriage Office, Transport for London, Specialist Make-up Services Limited, the Nouveau Beauty Group, Dixons Store Group and Priority Data, as well as practices in Harley Street. He has coached thousands of employees, boosting their motivation, emotional resilience and mental health, and instilling the foundations of good stress management. Described by his clients as a hugely transformative, well-respected practitioner, Mike continued to impact the field of customer service, instilling direction and leadership in large teams.

Mike’s passion is to help others become the best version of themselves on every level. The results his clients enjoy are consistently outstanding, and they also have a beneficial effect on an individual’s colleagues, their environment and family, and the community that surrounds them.

Key Takeaways

1. We don't seem to be doing & saying much about how people need to look after themselves in these challenging times.

2. We're not talking about that ability to communicate, we're not taught nearly enough how to listen to each other. And unfortunately, when we've learned it, we have ingrained behaviours, which we have to undo in order to be able to learn it properly.

Valuable Free Resource or Action

A mental health resource : https://www.mikelawrence.co.uk/rediscover-your-confidence-the-antidote-to-good-mental-health/

A video version of this podcast is available on YouTube :

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Transcript

Note, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, work, programme, listen, mike, organisations, mental health, sheffield, emails, question, called, lots, activates, learn, notifications, clients, problems, johann hari, brain, helped

SPEAKERS

Mike Lawrence, Stuart Webb

Stuart Webb  00:25

Hi and welcome back to it's not rocket science five questions over coffee. I am delighted and I have I have got my coffee here with me today. So it's here ready to go. I'm delighted today to be joined by Mike Lorenz Mike is a really interesting, transformational coach. He started his his career in leisure and hospitality and I'm sure he might get into that, where he was a Butlins Butler. It's red coat, helping holidaymakers through positive engagement and mindfulness. He's now a mentoring and coach for a number of large organisations, he reduces absenteeism. He improves employee morale, and he approves company internal culture. And Mike is in great demand in the corporate world. And he has got some clients who have described him as truly transformational. So I think we're gonna have a really fascinating discussion today. Welcome to the podcast, Mike.

Mike Lawrence  01:30

Yeah, could skim the day's view, it's great to be here last has been a while

Stuart Webb  01:36

it has been a take, it's taken us a while to get this set up. And thanks for taking the time to do this. Because I'm really looking forward to the conversation. Mike, can you just start by giving us a sort of an insight into the sort of person that you help the sort of the sort of internal and external behaviours, etc, that you might be seeing in your clients that they're that they wish to change and, and bring about a better well being attitude?

Mike Lawrence  02:00

Yes, I'd be happy to do so Stuart. Obviously, it's changed because I think prior to sort of COVID, and the lockdown, a lot of the clients, the people that we're seeing on a private basis in my clinic in Sheffield, tended to be women, the thought is like business owners, because you tend to find that the women only speak and how they wellbeing regime. And so they're more looking after their actual well being their mental health, that has changed somewhat. And now this is sort of balanced out. And in a lot of men, which is which is good, we're now starting to come forward and have that conversation talk about the challenges or problems that they face with their sort of well being. And so prior to Tina to COVID, lockdown, it was, you know, the general sort of strange depression sorts of anxiety. Also burnout I sustained on the increase, whereas now it seems to be around financial well being that lack of certainty about the future with the rising cost of living, and so it will try them out. Or we can navigate through these sorts of challenges. Because, you know, in the media and the government's we're talking about a lot of the problems which are going on. And yes, occasionally we have a mental health awareness, but really, we don't seem to be doing saying much about how people need to look after themselves in these challenging times.

Stuart Webb  03:33

So what are the behaviours, the things that you've seen people with those thoughts try to do to help themselves before you get involved with your, with your, your, your services,

Mike Lawrence  03:49

the, you know, you've got the negative behaviours, and the positive behaviours and negative behaviours, and some people might think that positive is the coping strategies. So hybrid work and brought in people eating more from element and generally speaking, eating in eating into access as a way of trying to cope because working from home the hybrid working in too far away from your kitchen, and so is this readily available, people are drinking more as well at home because again, it was it was readily available, also working more one way of filling that gap in terms of the challenge of problems that we're facing and felt as though that we needed to, you know, to sort of, you know, work or to fill in those gaps. And so, if I'm in that, working with people who are suffering with burnout or lots of in lots of situations, they're not looking after themselves and and typically the thought of things which I'm here and a lot of the time the things such as, you know, I'm feeling overworked and stressed a lot If I'm feeling depressed, I can't get to see my doctor. Or if, if I do get through to see a doctor, I just feel as though that them not listening, because I've just got a short. I'm just got a short when you call it time with the doctor. And in most of the cases, the prescribing medication, which obviously the right thing to do, but what they're wanting to see is to see somebody that was going to help them with CBT, or counselling, depending on where you live. And in the end, where you are in the control did turn depend upon what term level of support that you might get.

Stuart Webb  05:41

So, Mike, you've described some really interesting things there. Those are all things which, which I guess, you you provide, D provide them on site in your clinic, do you go to workplaces? How do you how do you offer that services?

Mike Lawrence  05:56

Yeah, well, was to follow benek in Sheffield, also, people see me remotely as long, which is one of the advantages and benefits, I suppose as the remote working. And so I'm able to offer a range of support services to people throughout the UK, and also our clients, you know, throughout the world as well. And then also get involved with organisations who provide Employee Assistance programmes and, and some people who might be fortunate if you're working for a large organisation, you might be able to get support through EAP, what I find is that lots of people who have got these schemes in the workplace which are free, they're not using them. So if anybody is watching this programme you have got in you're in a company that provides an EAP is really important that you do, you know, do so that said, I go into companies and tend to be smaller organisations, and where they haven't gotten an employee assistance programme. And now we'll come in there. And I will deliver talks and one to ones with members of staff, who may not feel confident speaking to some of their mental health problems to the to somebody within HR. And in some cases, you've got people have been trained as Mental Health First Aiders and a mental Mental Health First Aid instructor. And so I deliver that training on site and also in the workplace. But time and time again, you find that people are Mental Health First Aid trains, again, people within those organisations, there might be some stigma associated to going into the Mental Health First Aid or to talk about, you know, there's some of the problems that they actually face. So I offer a range of workshops, and they range from menopause, which has been on the increase, which had been asked for quite a lot. Mental Health Awareness, stress, depression, anxiety, nutrition and financial well being. Because now that organisations recognise that there have got a duty of care. And as part of that corporate social responsibility, they are doing more and need to be seen to do more for the employers.

Stuart Webb  08:10

Great. Yeah, thank you, Mike. Mike, I understand you've got a pretty valuable free resource that people even if they're not part of a large organisation, or a small business, even if they work on their own, that they can take in order to be able to do something. And I've just put the link to that scrolling along the bottom the screen now that that your website and the link is rediscover your confidence, the antidote to good mental health? Do you just want to describe to us what that that resource brings to the table?

Mike Lawrence  08:41

Yes, I can. It's a resource which is available to, you know, to everybody. It's a training programme, which I created and developed online about a year ago. And this is after some research that I did with clients. And also, what some, you know, as you know, a magic one question on LinkedIn, midway through through the pandemic, when I asked, you know, if I could offer you something, if I help you with something in particular, which would move you forward in terms in mental health and well being, what would it be. And so based upon the feedback from existing clients, previous clients, and also friends and family in the poll around on LinkedIn, I created this support programme for people around the UK and also around the world, who are able to step onto this series of webinars and workshops, which are deliver via video and also on a one to one workshop basis, where we'll be tackling and dealing with some of their challenges which they might have faced a long time ago, in terms of their health and well being because a lot of times, the things in which we faced our the problems that we have Sometimes it might be through the loss of somebody, or it could be something that we saw. No, in our in our early years in our childhood. And subconsciously, we've repressed those memories and thoughts. And this then impacts us in later life. I help people who come on to the course to identify or them to identify some of the root causes of their problems, and give them sorts of coping strategies help and support. So they're able to hopefully glean a better quality of life.

Stuart Webb  10:36

Great, great, great use of LinkedIn. Get that get that feedback on what people actually need from from you? What a great use. Mike, I guess there must be a number of books or courses or programmes that you've taken part in yourself, which have really inspired you that you have you seen as a way to build up your own education is, is there something like that, that you'd like to share with the audience today, in order to give them a flavour of things that you've been learning or things that you've, you've discovered that you'd like to sort of bring into the bring to the audience?

Mike Lawrence  11:09

Yes, there's, there's a couple that come to mind. And it's always books, I'm always reading books, always learning. A lot of the there's a book sorcerer series by a gentleman called David and Eagleman is also been featured on BBC, you can see he's got some on YouTube, there's some videos that he's gotten also lots of, I think, some BBC iPlayer, as well. And he talks about the brain, and goes very deep into the brain and gets thinking about, you know, what's in there, and how and how it works, the mechanics of it all. And there's lots of aha moments, staying with the brain. Many people may have heard of Darren Brown. And there's some great two podcasts that I've listened to recently one's called boot camp up the mind, which is excellence, and boot camp of your life, which is really good as well. And again, he delves into the brain talks about some of the blind spots that we have, and, and how we think and how certain things that can influence our sorts of beliefs as well. And the final one I'll share with you is one called Lost. What's it called? Is it lost focus? I think it might have things called loss, I think it might be lost, lost focus. And it's written by a gentleman call yo Hannes, Johann Hari, h a r i. And this is for me, it's dynamite. Because when you read this, when you read this book, or I listen, or I did, I listened to it on an audible when I'm going walking. I guess you're thinking about how we use our time and where that time got bears word, where does time go? Because we say all the time. You know, if you love what you do, and I love what I enjoy doing throughout the day, and your end of the day, it's like, wow, you know, where's that time gone. But we can use that time more effectively. And when you break it down, and the amount of time is actually lost? Or as he would say, taken away? Then you calculate that time says, Well, what would I have done with that time? If I control it, you know, a lot better. And typically, you know, everyone's got a mobile phone. And the amount of times and there's lots of studies and research and he talks about this, well, the amount of time and switch is lost on looking at those notifications that keep coming up on a day to day basis. And also emails and you know, you are still at you're nodding your heads, and, and emails, and we're doing this podcast called like, remotely, and I've got notifications switched up, I've got emails, you know, I've got everything's switched off. In actual fact, I've had them switched off for about four years. And the amount of time the amount of control that I have now it is just, it's incredible. And you know, a lot of times when people ask me, you know, I'm being interviewed, and you might ask me, anyone in the future and says, you know, what tip would you give people, you know, in terms of the well being, turn the notifications off

Stuart Webb  14:28

of that mic? And yes, you're right. I'm nodding because I too am a I do not have notifications on my phone, I guess. And you know, there are reasons for it. And, you know, we're going into what you said about Johann Hari, and I believe he was the guy that invented this thing called the Johari Window, which I've heard a lot about, which is, you don't know things about yourself. You've got to look at yourself in a different way in order to see it. But I'm very aware of the fact that notifications are one of those things which activates some very deep, old thinking in our brain I want to call them lizard brain, which is, you know, the crack of a stick in the in the woods used to be assigned for us to sort of get ready to run away nowadays, it's a being on a phone and activates all that same that same system in our body so that our our adrenaline is hyped up and we sort of get, get ready to either run away or fight. And what you don't need when you sitting watching the television and trying to relax on the day and decompress is things from your phone or when you're focused at work, you don't want to bring from your phone or thing popping up in the corner of your screen. So I'm like you, I now have a system where I, I, I have my email set as a calendar invite for myself, and I go and view my emails three times a day. And that's the only time I read email because otherwise, I'm focused on work. And when I want to actually sort of go on to social media, I use a technique you've probably heard of it called the Pomodoro Technique, my work for focus time, and then I give myself permission for a five minute break. And if I want to check Twitter, that's the time I check it. Or if I want to check LinkedIn, that's the time I check it. And I really don't do anything other than that. So I don't have notifications like you. And it has freed up hours of my week, it really has.

Mike Lawrence  16:15

It works a treat, because you probably well aware that in those those studies, that it highlights that when you if you've got the emails aren't if you're working away, and because you know, we talked about multitasking, and we all say that we are great multitaskers. And it breaks that myth by saying no, the brain doesn't work that way, you can only do one thing at a time. And those people who think they're great multitaskers, they take longer to do those particular tasks. And also, when you've got the if you're writing a document or a report, and that email pings up and it breaks your conscious because it activates that part and your brain was like, Ah, screw it, I need to go to that. So you start to write to that, then you then takes about 20 minutes, then to go back to that document to that that part of your mind, who was accessing to get all those nuggets information for you and your flow. You know, write that piece of work, it takes you 20 minutes to get back to that place again. Just Just

Stuart Webb  17:18

brilliant love it might love it. We could talk about those techniques for about another two and a half hours, but I won't. Because you need to get on to something else, and you need to focus on your work. So let's just get to the final question. Mike, there is probably a question that you're thinking at the moment I wish he had asked me whatever that question is. So Mike, would you please tell us what is the question you would like me to ask you? And then once you've asked the question effectively answer it for us so that you don't leave us hanging with the with it with an interesting question. But no, no real fulfilment of the answer

Mike Lawrence  17:53

is probably you probably mentioned it in the intro about being a red carpet.

Stuart Webb  18:00

You tell us what did you learn being somebody who helped holidaymakers through their what they hope would be a stress free time? How did you help them?

Mike Lawrence  18:13

I think it was to, they helped, I helped them in enjoy and have a good time, and have fun. And when you look all those years ago, at a very young age, the ability to be able to work and enjoy what you do and have fun and also and also impact positively and in people's lives in their own sort of health and well being and that was from the young generation all the way through, you know, to the you know, to the older generation, so all those generations and, and it helped me with my my confidence because prior to going there, I was probably an introvert and WhatsApp in an old steel town of Sheffield's and going to college and what have you around that when and just going and being flung into this space of over 5000 people who and who were there and spent a lot of money in those days and they're with their family expecting to entertain and expecting to be taken care of, you know, by these people, you know, these girls and boys in these red coats, and so something that it's live up so and, and the wonderful thing about it is that initially when I came out of working there I worked into I went into working in London in the legend creation industry when for whatever reason, I don't know what I wanted to be a manager in charge of people. And I found it very difficult in the first few years to adapt. Because I'd gone from somewhere where I was enjoying myself, I was having fun. And lots of people were, it was all positive engagement. There was no talk of mental health or wellbeing back then, because everyone was just having a good time, then we're going into the civil service, in local authority in London, it was totally different. And it took me a few years to actually adopt. And also, Stuart's, as I, as I tried to move through my career in management at it, I actually had to take off the fact that as a red coat on my, on my CV, it was fine in that was getting overlooked. And people felt as though that I wasn't saying management, managerial material, and that I didn't take the role seriously. And so I actually took that part out of it and just said that I worked in the leisure industry on the south coast, and left it at that wasn't until many years later that I set up my own consultancy company. And I was being interviewed on radio Sheffield, by a by a link be interviewed on radio Sheffield. And like yourself, he asked me the question, but he asked it in a different way. He actually said to me, what transferable skills did you did you learn as a red coat that you use in your business today. And that was like, ah, and there's lots because yes, I've got a lot you know, qualifications and Mental Health First Aid instructor and gone on lots of courses since then managerial courses and things around and complementary alternative therapies. But those skills that I learned back, then, you're able to communicate to people to talk to people understand people have conversations with people, you know, not on text or email, but communicate, and listen, because that and then to interact with people, and understand how they talk and how they feel and pick up on those things, you don't realise that you what you learn there, which then takes took me all the way through there. And, and it's one of the key attributes that I possess, when I'm working, you know, with, you know, with people now, it is one of the key things, because I was just gonna go on to say And finish in the, in my, you know, in some of the studies that I've done recently, I was surprised in one way that, you know, when we go to school, in the teachers house, it's taught how to read and write. But the amount of time in which actually is is put aside and how to listen, is very little.

Stuart Webb  23:05

Mike, that's a really interesting thing, too, that I started I interrupted you. I mean, it's interesting that you had to take away an element of your first part of your learning in your career, I similarly had to remove my, my, my, my scientific background, when I first started out as a manager, because people would often ask what somebody like you wanting to do a job like this. So you just take it away, don't you but, but I think that final point about learning to listen was probably the most the most interesting one that I think you you've hit upon, if we could just learn to listen to at a young age, you know, you're right. At school, we are not taught what we need when we get out into the real world, or we were not taught about that teamwork. We're not talking about that ability to communicate, we were largely sort of sat in silence listening to somebody who who feeds facts, we're not taught nearly enough how to listen to each other and, and something we learn far too late in life. And unfortunately, when we've learned it, we have ingrained behaviours, which we have to undo in order to be able to learn it properly.

Mike Lawrence  24:13

Absolutely, because the you know, we've all got our friend we want to be, you know, the social media is all about, look at me Look at me, like like like, and, and, and in reality, if some, in a lot of cases projects, a false image of actually who we are. But being a but in terms of a mental health and well being. Because, you know, a lot of the times when I meet people or see people, and you might say the same as well, and the first thing that we're saving, you know, English and British, we talk you know as to how are you? I'm fine and well, I'm okay. But oh We biggest a lot of times we we not? And we hope that, you know, we hope that people will respond, I'm fine. I'm okay. And well, you know, am I right? Because we were to say, actually, I'm feeling not very well. That's not what you wanted to hear.

Stuart Webb  25:23

We must stop, we could talk for hours, I will just say that I think there is some hope. My son who is 21 has a friend who has been to through some difficult medical problems just recently. And when he first reached out this, this young lad to my son, about a year or so ago, I said, Look, I've got a medical problem that I just I just haven't talked to many people. He's now got through that there's been surgery and things which which have helped him to get through this. He's not out of the woods, but he's, he's better. He sent a text to my son last night. And the text basically said, mate, thanks for being there. And just listening when I needed somebody to talk to. And I was just blown away that to 21 year old people, to 21 year old young men were able to actually do that gave hope for the fact that there is going to be a better view upon mental health in the future, because he really did reach out. My son was prepared to stand by and listened and helped him through and just, you know, went through it with him, you know, no matter how difficult it will seem. They just exchanged a series of sort of little text messages saying thank you. There's hope. Yeah, really, there is.

Mike Lawrence  26:40

And there is and we can't give up. And that's the you know, a great message. That there's always hope and we need to continue to believe that there is hope. And continue to strive to get that support from like minded people are going to listen and and be MBA and hold us accountable on on that journey, wherever we are.

Stuart Webb  27:04

Mike, let's, let's end on that. That's a brilliant, a brilliant endpoint. Listen, if people are watching, recording, listening to the recording, and the playback, if you want to be available to listen to really interesting conversations and pop in with questions and comments, with with interesting people like Mike go to this this list, which is HTTPS, colon forward slash forward slash TCA dot FYI, forward slash subscribe, that gets you onto our newsletter list. We will send you notifications before the broadcast, so that you can watch and listen and learn together with with really interesting people like Mike. Mike, I want to thank you so much for being here this morning and spending a few minutes with us. I know you're a busy person, and I know you've got a lot of things you've got to get on with. But thank you very much for your time.

Mike Lawrence  27:58

Thank you, Stuart. Appreciate it.

Stuart Webb  28:00

No problem. Thank you

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