Who is Marc?
Marc Singer - The Men's Coach
After being sentenced to life in prison for a crime he had not committed, Marc had to also endure the tragic deaths of his entire family, whilst in custody... Fast forward to now, he is a successful professional Men's mindset coach who works to help them discover their turning point and create a life that they choose.
Key Takeaways
Despite being in a very bad situation, Marc didn't want to see himself as a victim, and had to choose to take responsibility for thoughts, feelings and actions, in order to move himself forward.
it was only then that he discovered that he had the skills and attributes to become a great coach and this sent him on a path of self discovery
Our past may not take us into a life of crime, but mat prevent us from achieving our best, such as presenting us from being able to speak in public
Men specifically avoid moving forward with their lives a group that struggles the most in terms of everything that we do. Suicide rates are the highest with men. And that's a lot to do with a reluctance for men to sort of move forward. So the question I would ask is, why is that men struggle to move forward with their lives, and really take control of the things that matter most, which is your mindset. The way the mindset creates everything we do in life, it creates our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. And if we're not in control of that, then our actions are not going to be conducive to the life that we're living.
Valuable Free Resource or Action
Links;
http://www.facebook.com/leaderwithincoreenergy
(4) Marc Singer ~ The Men’s Coach | LinkedIn
https://youtube.com/@MarcSingerCoachingSeminars
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Transcript
Note, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
life, people, beliefs, men, prison, book, coach, attitudes, struggling, create, deal, mark, discover, mindset, question, important, helped, jail free card, moment, work
Stuart Webb 00:25
Hi, everyone, welcome back to it's not rocket science, five questions over coffee I have here in front of me, my favourite mug filled with coffee. And I've really, really looking forward to the next 1015 minutes we spent with this man Mark singer is the men's coach, he was sentenced to life in prison for a crime he hadn't committed, but he had to endure deaths of his entire family whilst in custody. And now he is a really successful men's mindset coach who works with them to help discover their Turning Point and create a life that they would choose now I think this is gonna be a really fascinating few minutes. Mark, I really am looking forward to this welcome to It's not rocket science, five questions over coffee.
Marc Singer 01:14
Thank you very much for having me on.
Stuart Webb 01:16
Look, what do you do you want to just start by describing those men that you're trying to reach? And the sort of people they are? And?
Marc Singer 01:33
Yeah, yeah, no, that's fine. Yeah. I mean, like, as you said, I went through a traumatic set of variances, which then create the lives that they choose. And, yeah, it was a it was a bit of a journey. So as you just said, they're convicted of a crime that had been in God, the trauma or all of that, whilst actually raising the family funerals and selling the family, home and so on whilst in prison, whilst not knowing if I was ever going to be actually released from prison, so, but I sorted as an opportunity to turn my life around, eventually secured really no, I'm a professional coach, working with men to help them create the lives that they choose as well. So that's what I now do.
Stuart Webb 02:21
So tell me, how did you I mean, what are the what are they doing? And who are they trying to reach at the moment? And why? Why is your approach different? What was it about the your experience that helped you to see that as a positive, and turn your life around?
Marc Singer 02:40
Well, actually, well, when I was in prison, I hit rock bottom. And for a period of time, saw myself as a victim, and then it was that realisation that I never wanted, I didn't want to see myself as a victim, and I had to choose to take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and actions, in order to move myself forward. I never wanted to be a victim. So it was at that moment, I decided enough was enough. And it was then that I decided to deal with that, then then instead of my actual situation where I was the prison and so on, which I couldn't change I could only change what I was doing how I was working. So I failed, because more were then and that led me to a situation when I did actually secure release I fell into code. King, no, no. And it was only then that I discovered that I had the skills and attributes to become a great coach myself and it was sent me on a path of self discovery and and oxide pectins chip professional excellence in coping, and I enrolled with them. And two years later, I qualified as a professional coach, and an S. Now what I do I work with men, particularly, to help them overcome whatever's in their wine. The reason I work with men, typically now, back in the day normal guys who are looking to have some sort of breakthrough in their lives and looking to move forward with their lives. There is a lot of stigma, and I work to break that down so that men can deal with what, whatever they're going through in a moment, and not to put forward to things like this because they have that belief or attitude that it's more feminine, it's more for women. It's not necessarily for working class got that then holds them back from moving forward. So I do tend to work with a lot of guys who are normal everyday guys who look not so much in terms of like dealing with the emotional side because that's what all All of us do, but we deal with it in a different way. But it's more given a more common sense. way of moving forward without all of fluffiness ism a common sense process work way of working forward, which helps them create whatever they want with their lives and, and it's effective and it helped them choose.
Stuart Webb 05:22
Mark, I love your message, I love what you're doing. And I'm just going to put a ticker across the bottom of the screen now, which is, which is your website, which is Mark, as Mark Mar, see, singer coaching.co.uk That's M AR C. Singer coaching.co.uk. Mark, there's lots of great stuff on your website. And I know you're in the process at the moment of writing a book which, which I hope is going to be a real, real bestseller to tell us tell us what is what's going to be in your book, what's, what's the stories in that book that you're going to sort of write and help men to discover this path from, from what you're telling them?
Marc Singer 06:09
Yeah. The book is my journey. It's a story about the only the tip of the iceberg. But when you look at the whole story, because there's a heck of a lot more to it, it was my journey and why I ended up in place one motion. So it really goes back to the beginning where I started. And I actually got involved in a gang I was involved in drugs and things like that when I left school, football violence and things like that. So I created a whole set of antisocial beliefs and attitudes which dogged me for many, many years after, and that led me into countless situations which were antisocial, and, you know, with the police, and so on. But it was many years from all of that in my 30s that I actually got convicted of the thing that I went to prison for. And even though I hadn't done, what they convicted me of, it was actually my own beliefs and attitudes that created that situation inadvertently, and only realised that later on because I I hadn't dealt with the underlying stuff that dogs been for many, many years on the surface or surface I hadn't. I hadn't had I dealt with the beliefs and attitudes at an earlier stage, I wouldn't have been involved in motion to begin with. And so I recognise that when I was in prison, and I started doing the work on the beliefs and attitudes whilst in there, that then helped me change my belief system so that it was more prosocial, more able to move moving forward. And a lot of us in life, we tend to develop beliefs and attitudes as we go through life, which affect us in different ways as we move forward. And it could be something. For instance, I'm working with a guy at the moment who, who's a businessman who struggles doing live speaking events. Now, the reason why he does that is because something that affected him many, many years ago when he was a kid. And he hadn't dealt with those beliefs and attitudes, which are now holding, holding him back from being is at his most comfort in front of people. So it's those sorts of things that I work with to help them identify and remove or change. And so understanding how our mind works is imperatively important for us to be at our best. And it's anything in life, if you want to be a footballer and you want to be the best, then guess what you're going to work on different aspects of become the best version yourself. And if you're a business minister, same thing, if you want to use your mindset, to the best of its ability, you're gonna have to learn how to do that. And many of us don't understand how our minds work fully. And don't understand how the beliefs and attitudes and things that we develop years before affect us in the current. And it's important that we do our best. So a lot of the stuff in the book is about that. It's about how my journey went from where I was to where I am now and everything in between there. But it's also more about individual reading the books is about me, it's about the people, whoever everybody's going through some sort of transition, transfer transformation in life. Doesn't matter who you are. And it's important that we understand how we can work our way through things like that in a more positive and productive way. And my book is about everybody, it's not just about me. It's about whoever you are away from create what you life. And that's the whole premise of the book. It's hast Half Life Story autobiography, half self help book.
Stuart Webb 09:41
I love it. I absolutely love it. I really think that's a brilliant way of putting it. Listen, normally my fourth question when we get to this point of the interview is about what book or what programme? Do you sort of, did you discover which actually sort of you know helps you get forward? You've sort of described a lot of that but is there a cific instance of something you'd like to leave the audience with to say, This is why you've got two graphs. Now this is what you've got to do. This is what I did to, to push me in the direction I'm taking now.
Marc Singer 10:14
Yeah, I mean, basically, what ask is that? What are the likes of? You know, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs Christianna Cristiano Ronaldo, Bill Gates when all of these people got in common? And the answer is, they all have a coach. And I think there was a general misconception, many people that if you ask for help in any way, in life, if you have a coach, if you have a mentor, it means you're weak in some way that you're struggling in life. And so many people avoid reaching out and asking for help, because I think it's a slot that's on this. And it means that they haven't got the ability to do it themselves, and that they're struggling. And I have a device. And it's a common misconception that a lot of people have, that you know, you have, you have to be, you know, mentally challenged or depressed or something like that, in order to reach out and get a coach. And it's really not the case, it's just it really is for the people who want to be the best versions of themselves. And that's essentially the difference between something like therapy and coaching. Coaching is for people, sorry, therapy is for people who want to delve into a certain life coaching is for people who want dispersions. Simple as that. And so my advice would be to people who are, you know, looking to progress in their lives and become the best version of yourself to consider hiring a coach. And so, in order to do that, there's no, it's no coincidence that six people in all have coaching? And that's one of the things I would learn. I'd say, you know, again, yeah, I mean, I learned a philosophy when I changed my life. And that, if you are asking me about a book called leadership by Bruce Knight, and he's the one he is the founder. And I would suggest anybody who's interested in find out more about that, check that book out.
Stuart Webb 12:09
Globally, Mark, listen, I've spent the last 1015 minutes asking you a bunch of questions. And there must be a question that you're currently thinking, Well, why isn't he asked me a bag, whatever. So my Get Out of Jail Free card at the moment is to turn around, get out of jail free card, what a wonderful thing to have for a few years in your life. Anyway, my purse, my question that I'm going to put to you now is, what's the question that you would have liked me to have asked that I haven't done yet. And obviously, I'm going to make you do the work again, I'm going to ask you to answer the question that you asked yourself. So what is the question you would particularly like me to?
Marc Singer 12:53
Well, again, I mean, it's really, what what is it that people, you know, why is it that people, men pacifically avoid moving forward with their lives? I mean, this is the thing that people look at the the general demographic of men, we're with a group that struggles the most in terms of everything that we do. You know, suicide rates are the highest with men. General issues, such as women is the highest in society. And that's a lot to do with a reluctance for men to sort of move forward. So the question I would say, you'd ask is, why is that men struggle to sort of move forward with their lives, and, you know, really take control of the things that matter most, which is your mindset, and your, the way we the mindset creates everything we do in life, it creates our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. And if we're not in control of that, then our actions are not going to be conducive to the life that we're living. And it's very important that we do that. Because most of settling in life for things that we don't truly want. And if we really want to be at our best, we have to be in control. And the question I would ask is why why do you? Why why is it that men does some common misconception among general men that it's or it's for a feminine all these different labels that people put things on? And none of it is true? It's inaccurate, completely. And I think mainly, a lot of guys will avoid doing these sort of things or investing in a coach because they feel that, you know, there's, you know, the old fashioned belief is just get on with it mentality is just get on the, you know, stiff upper lip, and I had that for a long time when I was in prison. And, yes, it has a place in some ways in society to do that. But the reality is, like I said, it's a misconception because people assume that by getting on with things when you're tough in some way, but it's actually the opposite. A real strong guy in life is the man who asked for help to help and it doesn't mean mentally. Ill like I just explained it in a in a You know, mentally ill way or you're struggling with the president is a way in which we all get forward in life, the most successful people in life always do. So I would say the answer to that question is to not judge things before you, you know, move forward, always have an open mind when you go. In life, generally, very closed minds, even though we tell ourselves, we've got an open mind, we will actually judge pretty much everything from our past beliefs and perspectives. And that then stops us things with any sort of clarity and objectivity. And it's very important that most of us see things with that. Because if you don't, you won't learn, you won't grow. And like me, I would have been stuck in prison. Still, I wouldn't be here talking to you today, if I had that sort of mindset. Because had I believed what everybody was telling me at that time, which was, you're never getting out of prison. There's no point I had no release date, it was a lot harder believe that I wouldn't have got out, I chose not to believe that I created my reality by my actions day in day out by focusing on myself and being the best version I could possibly be learning, exercising and doing all the things I knew, that would help me move forward. So it doesn't matter what your circumstances in life doesn't matter. If we've got a cost of living Christ says it doesn't matter if there's a war in Ukraine, it doesn't matter if there's COVID going on, it doesn't matter if we're struggling, that we're struggling through, we can all be successful with the right mental approach. And that's very, very, very important for any of us, specially right now, with what was going on around us. And, you know, there's the most successful people are the ones who walk through any sort of recession and things like that, and grow from it, rather than allowing it to force them to, you know, crumble basically,
Stuart Webb 16:45
I absolutely love what you're talking about, I think it's so, so brilliant. I mean, really, really appreciate the message you're putting across. And I think you're right, men are taught from a very young, early age, you know, it's the big boys don't cry, suck it up, get on with it. And, you know, we suffer for years because of it. I, I know, find most of my ideas from turning to people around me and go, What do you think, and you know, as business people, as leaders of businesses, the one thing that we can't afford to do is to just close down outside help and close down coaching and close down mentoring. We need those people to help drive us on and drive our businesses on to be the best. So I think what you're doing is brilliant. I love the story. Absolutely. Looking forward to the book. I know it's not out yet. I know he's coming soon. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on a copy of that book and reading it and I should be I should be sort of promoting it through through things like this podcasts and things like that. So really appreciate you coming on and spending a few minutes with us today. I just think that the message is great. I really absolutely love it. Listen, I'm just going to I'm just going to finish now by by doing the usual if you have got got any value out of this and I hope you have one or subscribe to the the newsletter list and then you can get an email every Monday which tells you what speakers we've got coming up in this week's our podcast recording and and you can get on and make sure that you follow people like Mark through his website. He's got lots of links on there, lots of information. So come on to our website onto our newsletter, which is TCA dot FYI. STCA dot FYI. FYI forward slash subscribe that gets you onto the newsletter mailing list. You'll get care about some great speakers like people like Mark coming on. Mark, thank you so much for coming on and spending a few minutes with us. I really do appreciate you spending a few minutes and giving us such huge value in the way that you have approached. Huge what what would have crushed me absolutely would have crushed me but you have approached it so positively and given so much value back and I thank you very much for your time today. Thank you very much.
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