Who is Judy?
Judy runs a consultancy based on Empowering Professional Women and the Men that Champion them. She is an Executive Coach, Sales and Leadership Trainer, Speaker and Author. Her mission is to help one woman a day using her philosophy "Women Want To Be Treated Equally...Not Identically"®
Key Takeaways
1. Know your non-negotiables. Too often people hear an offer, which they know is going to break the non-negotiables. They are afraid to say no, we need to learn to say no more often.
2. The average person has as many as 50,000 thoughts a day, and 80% of them are negative. When we're trying to fix the situation, our internal chatter takes over. And it produces these scenarios that are so real, that you swear you're living them, and the majority never happened.
3. Know your people, and it doesn't matter who your people are, they could be your family, they could be your peers, they could be your team. If you don't know anything about them, how are you going to get them on their journey, the journey that they want to take? How do you get to understand them? It's all about questions.
Valuable Free Resource or Action
https://www.sellinginaskirt.com/skirtstrategyprogram/
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Transcript
Note, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)
Stuart Webb 0:00
Hi, we're live welcome everyone to It's Not Rocket second session purrito It's not rocket science, five questions over coffee. I'm here with Judy home. It's very warm, we've been suffering, but I've got a green tea. It's not coffee, it's green tea. So it's very warm. So I'm looking forward to a really interesting discussion with Judy, Judy is a runs a company which is based on a paraprofessional women and the men that championed them. She's an executive coach, and talks about sales and leadership, since a speaker and author and her mission is to help one woman a day using her philosophy. Women want to be treated equally not identically. So Judy, I'm really looking forward to the discussion. And I know that you've got some great things to say. So welcome to the podcast.
Judy Hoberman 0:51
Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here. And I'm excited to be live everywhere.
Stuart Webb 0:55
Yeah, yeah, we are, we're absolutely live. And you'll be able to tell because if I make a mistake, as I already have the duty, let's start by the first question. So can you just describe, and I think it's a hopefully, it's not gonna be a surprise you, I guess we're talking about the women you help. But what's the biggest challenge your ideal client faces today.
Judy Hoberman 1:14
So it all goes under an umbrella. And really, it's about standing out. Because whatever industry you're in, you're not the only person. And so you have to figure out a way to stand out and be noticed, and stand out for the right reason, not the wrong reason. So whether it's selling your services, whether it's selling a product, whether it's sharing your abilities, whatever it is, or selling yourself, that's the biggest challenge that most of my women have. It's, you know, they, under that umbrella, it's also comparing themselves to others and motivation and confidence. But it's really like standing out and being different and being unique. Because what makes you unique is why people want to do business with you.
Stuart Webb 1:52
Fantastic. So what are the common mistakes people make when they're trying to solve that problem without getting the help?
Judy Hoberman 1:59
A lot of times I'd happen steward is really, that, when we try to do something ourselves, we're too close to the situation. And I'm not sure if people know that the average person has as many as 50,000 thoughts a day, and 80% of them are negative. So think about that, like we talk to ourselves more than anybody else. So when we're trying to fix the situation, our internal chatter takes over. And it produces these scenarios that are so real, that you swear you're living them, and the majority never happened. So when you work with somebody else, that could be more objective to your situation, they can take some of those limiting beliefs, and they can talk about it and decide, is it real? Or is it you know, like we say, real memories? Is it real? Or is it something that you're making up in your mind? Because those limiting beliefs are the things that we show other people, we you know, this is how we show up? And if, if you have this chatter going on all the time, what do you do with that? So when you when you talk to somebody else, when you make sure that somebody else understands what it is that you're feeling? You know, when you talk through it, you realise that some of this is just pure nonsense, because we're making it up. Now, some of its real. And I get that because we've all gone through those situations. But when you have somebody else that's more objective about it, they can really pull it apart for you and see what what's really going on for you.
Stuart Webb 3:21
And the other great thing about talking that through with somebody else's your can find that person has got the ability to turn to you and say, Look, I've already been through that. And it doesn't end up the way you expect. And when I did it such such and such happened. And then you can you can then sort of realise that what you thought was going to be a really hard burn could be nothing more than a minor scold, or indeed not even a problem at all. Doesn't really.
Judy Hoberman 3:46
Yeah. And what happens is you find that it's really a speed bump. And so if I've already been there, done that bought the t shirt many times because I probably have gone through a lot of the same situations that my clients have, you know, I can say to them, Look, you may run into this, but have you thought about doing it this way, because when you make the left turn instead of the right turn or when you go straight instead of curving, whatever it is, it's a it's another way, it's another way you get to look at things. And it's also another way that you get to stand out and show who you really are authentically because that's part of this whole problem is being authentic and not comparing yourself to somebody that has a million followers who they don't even know.
Stuart Webb 4:25
Yeah, and those million followers may well be they may not be real and that that's
Unknown Speaker 4:31
that's another whole story. Absolutely.
Stuart Webb 4:34
So what's the valuable free action or valuable free resource that you want to leave the the audience with today?
Judy Hoberman 4:41
So my company is called selling in a skirt so everything is based on the word skirt, and the skirt is actually an acronym, which stands for standing out. There's your S know your non negotiables invest in your relationships, referrals and time structure. So we've created a masterclass called skirt strategy and it goes through all five of those, stretch those strategies, those keys, and we actually give you ways to implement things to get you through each one of those struggles. Because when I started my company I actually struggled with all five of them, they just happen to spell out skirt. And so that's something that you know, it's easy to do if you do it correctly so it's a it's an easy masterclass it is a free masterclass, you can go through it, and implement it. And you know, you can always ask for help. Or you
Stuart Webb 5:31
should give us those skirt acronyms again, Judy, and tell us exactly where we get that master class. Okay,
Judy Hoberman 5:37
so the SS for standing out? How do you stand out in a sea of sameness? When there's so many people doing the same thing? How do you stand out what's your unique ability, the key is know your non negotiables you have there are things that you will absolutely say no to, or absolutely say yes to, you have to know what your non negotiables are before you go into the situation. So you don't have to redo it later on. The AI is invest in your relationships, you have people that you can count on, if you don't invest in them, your competitors are going to. So you have to make sure that you do what's right for them, it's not about you, you have to take the spotlight off you and push it on them. So invest in those relationships, because they are the referrals that you're going to get from those people that you've invested in, that you you'll be getting without even having to ask because they now have a relationship and they trust you. And the T is a big one. It's time structure. And it doesn't matter who you are, what gender you are, what what generation you are, doesn't matter what business you're in. We all struggle with time structure, so why not be able to be present in a situation. So that's the skirt. And you can get the master class at WWW dot skirt strategy.com forward slash join us.
Stuart Webb 6:49
Brilliant, brilliant. That's join us one word. Yes. Brilliant. I just gonna just gonna say one thing on that, know your non negotiables. You're actually when you said know what you need to get out of something. Too often I think people apply. So when women and men, when they when they hear an offer, which they know is going to break the non negotiables. They are afraid to say no, we need to learn to say no more often. Don't we do that?
Judy Hoberman 7:17
Absolutely. We were so quick to say yes to everything. And when you say yes to everything, you're saying no to something that's really important to you. So you just have to make sure that you know what it is you have to have boundaries, and a lot of us don't have boundaries. And just last year, a lot of our boundaries went out the window. So yeah.
Stuart Webb 7:34
Just remember that saying no. To something is going to be is going to be implicit in saying yes, you're always going to be saying no to something. So what's the the book that has been most impactful in your experience.
Judy Hoberman 7:49
So I have my own books, which I think are very impactful. You know, two of them are selling in a skirt, obviously, and then walking on the glass floor. One is about sales. One is about leadership. And they are very powerful, because they give you not only strategies and case studies, it also gives you stories, because people remember stories. So I believe that both of those and they're available on my website they're available on Amazon are tools that most of my clients have. But there is one more book that I want to do share with you, Stuart because i i have been dubbed the question queen. And so because I'm the question queen, I asked a lot of questions. And you can ask anybody that knows me. Sometimes they roll their eyes because I ask a lot of questions. But there's a book called Power questions. So for the question queen, what would be better, right? And what I love about this book is it gives you questions you should ask. But it also gives you questions you should ask. And so I think it's really important. But what because I do this, and I do this in my books, and I also do it in training, and I do it everywhere else. I ask open ended questions. It's like an oral essay that somebody gets to talk to you about what's important, not that you're interrogating them with questions. And I think that's really important for everybody to understand that the only way you get to build those relationships and invest in them, is by showing somebody that you're interested in them, not interesting to them. And so by asking questions, that's really what part you know what this whole thing is about is building that relationship.
Stuart Webb 9:17
Absolutely love that Judy is one of my favourite things. And I talk a lot to people who are building their business, who are just starting out in learning how to manage people, and I say, the art of being a great leader is to turn being interesting into being interested because too many leaders think they have to be interesting and sparkle, and constantly look as if they're the centre of attention. And so often they're missing the point because what they need to be interested in the people around them and learning more about I'm going to take you over a little bit but one manager I turned to and said Do you know the names of the children of the people you manage? They said to me Why do I need To know that you ask them to stay late on a Friday night, you absolutely need to know who you're going to be interrupting the lives of. And that's the point of the interested that I think they they got, but it was, you're absolutely right. Interesting, too interesting. I love that point. I think that's brilliant. I'm so glad you brought it up.
Judy Hoberman 10:19
You know, and it's really true, because I talk about knowing your people, and it doesn't matter who your people are, they could be your family, they could be your peers, they could be your team. If you don't know anything about them. How are you going to get them on their journey, the journey that they want to take? How do you get to understand them? It's all about questions. I always knew my people, I knew their kids names. I knew everything about them. Not because I was nosy it was because I was interested in because I could say, you know, when you are able to do this trade show with me on Saturday, why don't you tell Jimmy and Susie and whomever? Where are you going to be and what what it is that you're going to do for people. So it was very different. And I totally agree with you. There's, you know, that whole concept of asking questions is really so important. And so many people will just get in, get out and get the check. That's it. That's all they want to do. They don't want to spend the time. Because if you talk too much, you're going to talk yourself out of something not true. If you talk about yourself, you will. But if you talk about others, you
Stuart Webb 11:18
won't. Absolutely brilliant. Well, this fascinating, fascinating discussion. And now I'll give you my my Get Out of Jail Free question, which is what's the question that I should have asked you? If you haven't? Give us the answer, please.
Judy Hoberman 11:32
Well, the truth of the matter is this question comes from that book that I just told you about? Because I have asked this question at the end of lots of different conversations. And it not only does it bring the conversation to another level, it continues the conversation whether that moment or later on. So the question I always ask is, what do you still want to accomplish? And most people say to me, Hmm, no one's ever asked me that. And then they tell me things that they probably have never said out loud before or something that they've been, you know, wishing and hoping. And so that's always a great question.
Stuart Webb 12:06
Brilliant. I love it. And it's one that I get to use the next time I talk to somebody, but I won't use it now. Because this conversation will go on many more hours. And probably not what either of us need at the moment, we probably need to go and get ourselves more of a drink, which is what I'm going to do in a minute. So I mean, it's been absolutely brilliant having you on the podcast so appreciate you making the time I know that you've got a lot on and I appreciate you taking the time out to do this. So thank you so much for doing it listening on it. If you want to know more about what we do on this podcast, you can go to t ca dot FYI forward slash subscribe that's TCA dot FYI forward slash subscribe that puts you on the mailing list. Every time we do one of these I send out the mailing list and I tell everybody we're getting on so that you get on watch these great interviews lined up list are really interesting people like Judy, Judy, just give us that that masterclass once more where you can actually go and get more information about you.
Judy Hoberman 13:05
www that skirt strategy.com forward slash join us. You can go onto my website and find it you know. And Chris,
Stuart Webb 13:14
thank you so much, Judy. I really appreciate you taking your time. I get it much. That's something I'm joined again at the next time we're doing another one of these. It's not rocket science by questions over coffee.
Five Questions Over Coffee with Judy Hoberman (Ep. 27)