It's Not Rocket Science!
It's Not Rocket Science! Five Questions Over Coffee
Five Questions Over Coffee with Aideen Ní Riada Wolpe (ep. 46)
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Five Questions Over Coffee with Aideen Ní Riada Wolpe (ep. 46)

Who is Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe?

Aideen is an Intuitive Voice Coach, Mentor and Singer. She unlocks the mental and emotional blocks to being seen and heard so that you can speak up, Sing OUT and step forward in life with renewed faith in yourself.

She blends her knowledge of psychology, spirituality and voice training to uncover the hidden treasure within your unique voice in music, life or business.

Aideen can help you to sing & live joyfully by transforming your self doubt into self confidence!

Key Takeaways

1. We need to remember that we're here to serve others. And if they don't know about what you do or don't understand what you do and how you do it, because you don't speak up, you're letting a lot of people who could use your help down.

2. Use positive affirmations to engage your thinking in positive thoughts - you become resourceful when you ask a positive question. So why is it becoming easier to use my voice? Why is my voice worthy of being heard? Why is my message important for my clients? Why is my confidence growing bit by bit?

3. The reason that singing and music improves your confidence is because of the way our brains work. When musicians are tested on how they use their brains, it's actually been found that instead of just thinking logically in a linear way, you're more likely to actually problem solve with your whole brain, if you have studied music, or you've done singing.

Valuable Free Resource or Action

A free online consultation and community for a free video series on building confidence in singing. All available on www.confidenceinsinging.com

A video version of this podcast is available on YouTube :

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Transcript

Note, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

singing, voice, question, book, resourceful, people, confidence, consultation, brain, bit, clients, dad, speaking, spending, podcast, exercise, hear, called, mailing list, minds

SPEAKERS

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe, Stuart Webb

Stuart Webb  00:21

Hello, and welcome back to it's not rocket science by questions over coffee. I'm not actually with a coffee at the moment, I've got a nice glass of lime water he has

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  00:37

great minds think alike.

Stuart Webb  00:38

So I'm here with AD newbie other Walpa I'm not going to try and pronounce anything better than that. 18. So if I've got colleges, but ad is a well, what can I say 18. She's an intuitive coach and singing coach, and I'm really looking forward to this particular discussion, because I think a dean has got such a great personality and such a lot of stuff to say on this, I think is gonna be really great. So you're an indeed, mentor, singer, I'm hoping we're going to get into how to unlock mental and emotional blocks to being seen and heard, so that you can speak up I think, is really a great thing for people who are running businesses to know about so 18 Welcome to It's not rocket science, five questions over coffee. Thanks very much for being here.

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  01:23

It's an absolute pleasure. And thank you for having me. And I'm Hello to everyone watching.

Stuart Webb  01:28

Brilliant. So let's start with the sort of person that you try to help what's the what's the, the person you're trying to reach? And how do you sort of what are the problems they got? You're helping them to overcome?

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  01:39

Well, I think we've all been there. But um, my I, the people that I help generate a bit frustrated, right? Because they have something that they want to they want to do with their lives, but they feel that they're being blocked in some way. So what happened for me was someone asked me 18, what's your dream? And I said, Well, I want to be a singer, but I can't do that. So basically, I shut myself down. And the reasons were many buttons, mainly because my dad felt that, you know, a career in teaching or marketing would be far more suitable, and gave me some advice, you know, that, you know, money without music, they don't kind of go together. So I am I had this block myself. So I understand when people come to me that they have this kind of wish to do something with their voice, whether that is to to work in their business, or whether it's to sing. And because I do a bit of both. And if they can unlock that part of themselves that's holding themselves back, then they can actually start to step into the spotlight or put their business into the spotlight, so they can help more people.

Stuart Webb  02:53

Tonight, it's it's so often that I look back and I hear this from clients of mine, we're trying to please our parents and our parents have somehow managed to stop us doing something that they're trying their best to protect us from doing. And yet at the same time, they've managed to protect us from doing it in such a way that there's really ruined us. So it's not unusual to hear somebody turn around and say my dad tried to help me, but somehow messed me up. Yes. I know, as a parent, I do my level best not to completely mess up. But I guess eventually, in a few years time, my son will be here on a podcast saying well, it was great, but my send your candour on path. So I'm so glad to come out of it. So So what are the things which you found that that people like entrepreneurs, or business owners, and even people in their personal life, have tried to do themselves to help before they eventually found you and found what you're trying to help them with?

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  03:47

Well, I think for me and for many of my clients is we try to do other things and, or we try to take steps towards what we want, with the mental block still in our minds. So what I did was I started to think of my dad's advice as negative reinforcement. So think of positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement is a bit like when someone says, I can't do that, and you go Halliwell, you know, so it's a bit of that, you know, push pull. And when you think of your parents, you know, they create this beautiful nest for us to live in, covered in feathers. But the Eagles actually put thorns around the edges of the nest. So when we get to a certain, a certain stage of our development, the parent parental view is actually at something that we have to fight that we're like, oh, this is annoying. This is like I don't want to be here anymore. So we have these things going on in our minds all the time. We have parts of us that are very reassuring to ourselves on parts of us that are giving us a hard time. But the it all is leading us to expand and to to figure it out. A new way of doing things, we're very stuck in our ways. And if we try to do something on our own, and it hasn't worked by doing it on our own, then sometimes getting support is an answer. If you've tried to do it, but pushing through, and it hasn't quite worked, then maybe you need to start being more in a receptive mode, which can mean you know, maybe internal beliefs changing rather than taking a lot of action. So there's there is looking at where you were, what you were doing, and, and, you know, having a conversation about something like that, like about, oh, my dad said this, or my teacher said this about my singing, I was told to lip sync, you know, just smell the words. So when we go back to those situations, and those, those crucial points, and even talk about them, and I learned to kind of accept and forgive those situations, then you can move forward in a new way. So doing it on your own doesn't always work

Stuart Webb  06:02

like that. Let's, let's move into so what is it the that you tried out to do? And I know you've got a great website, I'm going to sort of just display it now, which is the confidence in singing.com. So what do you help people with what is there on that website that will allow people to start accessing some of that help that you've just talked about either self help or pushing through those sort of barriers that they know they've got, and they just want to be able to sort of release them?

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  06:28

Absolutely. Well, I have, um, I have a video series for those those of you watching that maybe you want to enjoy singing and have a secret wish to sing. My video series is five steps to confidence in singing, you just sign up for my main my newsletter to receive that. I also do a free voice consultation. So if you're struggling to express yourself in other ways, and you feel like you may want to get support around that come and do a free consultation, it's you don't there's no obligation at the end. It's a short consultation, I'm very happy to offer whatever free advice I can. And then I am going I'm writing a book at the moment stewards Would you believe called start singing, so that I'm hoping will be out in the next few weeks, and hopefully, the next few weeks, so I have a goal to bring that out by the fifth of February. And I also one thing that I love is I do love reading. So I have a blog post on my website of the my my five favourite books or books that changed my life. And if anybody is interested in finding out where I've developed my philosophy, then those books really can reveal a lot.

Stuart Webb  07:39

Do you know something? I was just as you were saying that I think that that consultation you mentioned, you know, for people that, you know, they have to stand up and speak about their business, they have to stand up and just talk about what they do, it's a difficult thing for a lot of business owners to do. So it's you know, it's the one thing you hear, isn't it that many people sort of would prefer it, when it comes to the public eulogy or whatever, at a funeral, they'd almost fit, they'd almost be more fearful of that than their own being in the box at the front of the church. So, so just having a consultation, to enable them to get some tips on how to release the voice so that they're not afraid of speaking. So they're not actually caught by that fear that they're not going to sound strange, it would be a great way to sort of just start the process of being able to talk more confidently about what they do and down the business growth path.

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  08:29

Absolutely. Because really, we need to remember that we're here to serve others. And if they don't know about what you do, I don't understand what you do and how you do it. You're letting a lot of people who could use your help down.

Stuart Webb  08:42

What a great philosophy, I love that you mentioned. So those books, and I'm not just going to come back to that one there. The the question that I asked everybody is was the book or concept or, or programme that really has been impactful for you that you want to share? So I suggest, you know, maybe that's one of those books, or is there something else you'd like to tell us about?

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  09:00

Oh, I have to tell you about this, this, I have a whole new way of using, you know, affirmations, and it's something that I discovered only about a month and a half ago. So yeah, this is really life transforming. It's been transformative for me, and I've been sharing it with everybody I can imagine. So I'm going to explain why it works. So well. Our brain tends to answer the questions we ask us. So if I ask myself, Why am I so crap and speaking in public, it will find answers to that it will find the answer that well, your dad said that you were you know that you should just shut up. And or, you know, well I don't like the sound of my own voice or, you know, I maybe I'm you know, tooting my own horn or I'm too big for my boots, right. So we find the negative answers to the negative question. So this is a way to actually turn those things around. What I did was I made a list of all my negative questions. These include things like why don't I love living with my mother? All right, for instance, why is my husband indecisive? All of these questions, but two pages worth? And then I turned them into positive questions. Why is my husband so decisive? Why do I love living with my mother now here in Michigan. And what happens is your brain then searches for positive answers. And say in terms of living here, I realised that I hadn't put my own stamp on, on even this little office that I use. So I ended up in a local shop, I bought myself a few nice little trinkets, like a little globe globe to put in the, it's a beautiful sea green colour, I got one of my affirmation cards and framed and my beautiful sticker on the wall here. So you become resourceful when you ask a positive question. So why is it becoming easier to use my voice? Why is my voice worthy of being hurt? Why is my message important for my clients? Why is my confidence growing bit by bit? So any, any negative questions? You've been saying to yourself? Like, why would I be terrified to go on a podcast? Or switch it around to? Why would it be comfortable for me to go on a podcast, and you'll find that certain interviewers might be might be someone that you would be comfortable, or maybe it'd be more comfortable on an audio podcast and not a video. So we become resourceful. These are called App form, Asians. And the, the person who told me about it is a woman called Denise Duffield Thomas, who's Australian. But the book is written by Noah, St. John. And he is on Amazon, I got his audio book called The Great little book of affirmations. And I listened to that. And I am just loving it. Brilliant.

Stuart Webb  11:50

I love that. Well, that's that's one to stick on the on the list to go and get it immediately after this. Yeah, I'm aware that we're taking up valuable time. And I know you've got a singing lesson to go to pretty soon. Yes,

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  12:02

yes, I'm actually going to teach my mantra class. So I teach mantras like, on and on Manny paddling on some of the spiritual side of things. So I have a class two classes a week that I teach like that, and I have one coming up.

Stuart Webb  12:18

Really? Well, we're gonna let you go to that. But not without first posing to you the the question that I should have asked you, which I've managed to sort of get out of asking this is work the way I only have to do thinking for four questions I made you do the question for the what is the question that I should have asked? And then please answer the question so that we don't end up in a situation where we're all wondering what you would have said.

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  12:41

And I think the question you could have asked is, why is the singing improved confidence. And the reason that singing and music improves your confidence is because of the way our brains work. So I'm very interested in this, I studied psychology. And when musicians are tested and how they use their brains, it's actually been found that they integrate the right and left side of our brains more with more interactions. So instead of just thinking logically, and linear in a linear way, or just thinking creatively and in a random way, you're more likely to actually problem solve with your whole brain, if you have studied music, or you've done singing. So that's one way that I feel that singing really helps develop our confidence. It makes us more resourceful.

Stuart Webb  13:32

Well, with that I'm, I'm going to get immediate into into my singing mode. And I won't actually get you to it now. Although I do actually sing.

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  13:43

I would love to do singing exercise with everybody.

Stuart Webb  13:46

Do you want to do that now? Yeah, why not?

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  13:49

We all have to use our voices during the day. And we generally wake up pretty croaky as I did this morning. So homing is my favourite singing exercise because anybody can access it. And you can hum along with any song. So try this. Hmm, Mm hmm. So it's like exploring the higher notes. Mm hmm. Good eye wherever you get to it was perfect. And then down the way and then the second one that was good, down, you've probably got a few really good low notes down there. There you go. And then the second one is meow sounds meow sounds help move the larynx so that you can access high notes. So it's just like a scrawny little kitten meal. Yeah, there you go. And you do that new, high, medium and low. And you if you do even two minutes of those kinds of exercises in the morning, you will be able to speak more clearly your voice will be ready to deal with clients. If you're speaking in public it will help you to get your voice working.

Stuart Webb  14:54

Oh, hey, what a wonderful tip. That's, that's I think that's the first time on this podcast. Anybody has forced me to Meow sounds so what we do is on a regular basis, listen, this has been a fascinating discussion. Thank you so much for spending some time with us. I'm just gonna remind everybody if you would like to get on to the mailing list so that you hear about when people like eating, it's gonna come on and force you to do singing and speaking exercises in order to improve your voice. Get onto our mailing list by going to https colon, forward slash forward slash TCA dot FYI, forward slash subscribe, that's TCA dot FYI, forward slash, subscribe. 18. Thank you so much for spending a few minutes with us. Really appreciate you putting some some time aside to do this in your room with you're now much more comfortable in it because you've got the colours around you. Really appreciate this. And thank you so much for spending some time. I really appreciate that. Thank you very much for watching us. John Connolly says hello. Thank you, John.

Aideen Ni Riada Wolpe  15:54

Thanks, John. Bye, guys. Bye bye.

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