Five misconceptions about negotiation
Top Tips for Business Owners
I know a lot of us have misconceptions about negotiation. We're often taught to view it as a battle over money, and because of that, many of us feel afraid or avoid it altogether. Did you know that research shows that 54% of us didn't negotiate our last salary? It's really eye-opening to realize that negotiation is not just about money, it's a part of our everyday interactions. It's like when we're driving and we call it steering without even realizing that it's a form of negotiation
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Transcript
Hey there! I'm Stuart Webb, your fellow businessman, entrepreneur, podcaster and CEO, with another one of my one-take video blogs, where all the mistakes stay in.
I know a lot of us have misconceptions about negotiation. We're often taught to view it as a battle over money, and because of that, many of us feel afraid or avoid it altogether. Did you know that research shows that 54% of us didn't negotiate our last salary? It's really eye-opening to realize that negotiation is not just about money, it's a part of our everyday interactions. It's like when we're driving and we call it steering without even realizing that it's a form of negotiation. I had a moment like that when I told my son to navigate carefully around a crowded supermarket with a trolley, and he replied, "I'll steer my way, and they can watch out." It made me realize that negotiation is really just about guiding relationships and encompasses so much more than just discussions about money. So let's talk about the five lessons of negotiation.
First Lesson, when we consciously focus on everyday steering, it can make a significant impact on our success in money conversations. I've learned to notice opportunities to negotiate all around me, like taking the time to understand my bosses' priorities better or reaching out to my clients regularly to stay updated on their businesses.
Lesson Two - did you know that only 7% of people achieved the best outcome in negotiations? Why? Successful negotiators start with open questions that uncover the other person's needs, concerns, and goals. What did they do that? They didn't lead with their points. They asked questions first. Bottom line, in negotiation, you get more by asking questions than you do by arguing. But not just any questions. That 7%, they asked open questions. And most of us aren't great at that. When I teach people about asking questions, I say, okay, I've just taken a trip. What can you ask me to get some good information? Top two questions they asked? I bet you could guess.
Number one. Where did you go?
Reno.
Did you have a good time?
Yes.
Two closed questions, two one-word answers. So what's the best question? Well, it's a little bit of a trick because technically the best question of all doesn't end with a question mark. It's tell me all about your trip. Tell me is the biggest question you can ask and it is the most powerful first question in any negotiation, at work or at home. With the hiring manager, tell me how the company sees the salary range for this position. With your teenager, tell me what's making you ask for a raise to your allowance. Tell Me gets you the most information, but it also builds trust, so it creates the best deals. It's not just about gathering information; it's also about building trust, which ultimately leads to better deals.
Lesson Three has made me realize that negotiation actually starts before the negotiation starts. I call it the "mirror" phase, where we have to negotiate with ourselves first. It's critical because if we don't get this right, the negotiation stops there. Reflecting on past successes before going into a negotiation can really make a difference. It reminds us of our own strength and helps us gather valuable insights into strategies that are likely to work for us.
Lesson Four taught me the importance of being concise. Sometimes, saying less can actually lead to better outcomes in negotiations. I've seen a brilliant sales executive lose deals because he talked too much. He'd ask a great question, and then he would get scared of the silence, so he would eat it up with his words. What do you need to get this done here today? Well, I know our price point might be a little bit higher than that of our competitors, but I think if you go ahead and look at our customer reviews. Want to know the secret to great deals? Shut up.
Recent research found that leaving a period of silence in negotiation not only made it more likely that the other person would give you a high-value move, but it also came across as collaborative. So how much silence? Ask your question, make your proposal, and then zip it.
Finally, Lesson Five has taught me to see my adversaries as partners. We often view the other party as an opponent, but in most everyday negotiations, they become our partners once the deal is done. It's important to remember that even when the negotiations may seem tough, we're ultimately working toward a shared goal. I've seen how acknowledging a shared objective can turn a conflict into a partnership.
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